03 November, 2003 - 12:02 p.m.
Yesterday was Crown tourney and it was a beautiful day.
Fun things: doing the hokey-pokey with roses, seeing lots of friends, trying new and interesting looking food at the Queen's Tea, meeting Pavla finally, taking on a new project for Master Eldred, meeting Francesca's Emerson, seeing so many people that I lost track of where my stuff was and still did not get to spend time with everyone I wanted to, Kyneburg's finger puppets, impromptu classes on painting cloth and the idea to do a 'History of Painted Cloth' class, having my first real house guests since the move.... I'm sure there was more that I am just spacing.
Other stuff - some interesting, some odd:
Someone wanted to know if I'd had a face lift because I 'looked good' - WOW! Guess what, the removal of great stress will do that!
Someone told me Cuan is the new 'Father of the Lodge' since Forgal and Anton are gone, someone else told me that it is Timoch - last time I checked there wasn't much left of the Lodge as a whole to be the head of because everyone had split off into their own groups which was healthy and necessary thing to do.
One of my people was 'fired' with no word to me so I could be there for her and very little discussion with her. Apparently no words to much of anyone else in the chain of command prior to doing it either. Sadly IF I had been allowed the opportunity, I believe I could have gotten her to resign with a lot less hurt feelings involved - I do wonder IF they were going to fire Emma as MOL if they would speak to Dame Anne before or after or at all? Or James as MOAS, wouldn't someone talk to Duke Gyrth? No discussion, no warning or opportunity to correct. Sad, very sad. Moot Point now as the damage is done.
Thank you Cuan for walking with her and trying to help.
((( and this is where I get to take my own advice and not take it personally. I keep repeating to myself that this wasn't done because she is mine. I wasn't excluded because I am me. No, it wasn't personal. Not at all - right? )))
Some bizaar questions/statements about my marriage and its ending. Some were amusing and some of them left me flabbergasted.
Please, THINK about this:
WHY would a woman, after doing all the work to raise/rescue the children and make a beautiful home out of a pit and remove all debt, upon hitting retirement, which meant that the Army was out and mega-bucks were rolling in, CHOOSE to leave and move in with her mother? Just how BAD do you suppose it would have to be to walk away from the person that had once been her greatest love, her best friend and her hero? Why not just stay, reap the benefits, roll in the dough and the freedom of having him gone most the time and travel off to meet him in exotic locations?
For heaven's sake, without knowing anything else but what you have seen yourselves, don't you get that I was miserable? Do you think I should have stayed and just kept all the benefits even though we weren't happy? Wouldn't that make me the gold-digger he is trying to say that I am? All of the personal details between us are really no one else's business. And no, I have no idea why he felt the need to cross post his ugliness (which if you have been paying attention was not based in truth) to the entire Known World - but knowing only what you have seen with your own eyes: Just how bad do you think it had to be for me to walk away?
If I wanted to be gallivanting around the world, then why am I still here?
If I was so interested in another man, where is he?
If I wanted to roll in dough, why didn't I stay married to the source?
If I took some huge sum of money, why am I looking for a job and still driving a vehicle with 200k miles? Or could it be there community property is not part of his reality?
BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT BUT DO NOT MAKE YOURSELF BLIND TO THE OBVIOUS!(caps for emphasis, I am not shouting - really)
Hmmm, well, that was a bit more of a rant than I'd meant to have.... but does lead right into the next one.
Someone else wanted me to know that there are some people gossiping/talking about me - Oh my, oh my... has there ever been a time when there wasn't? It was kind of sweet and funny and sad all at once and then it hit me, and so I asked.... Why are you telling me this?
This was met with stunned silence and then a stammering, "I thought you should know." or "I thougth you would want to know."
Really? Do you think that is it? I mean you, in the general sense, out there? Do you suppose that people come up and tell you something ugly or hurtful that someone else said about you because they have even taken ONE SINGLE MOMENT to think about the fact that there is nothing you can do about this information and that it will hurt/disturb you on some level? Do people think before they past on this crap? Why not edit out the bad crap, like when we mute the commercials during our favorite show? Why pass it on unless there is some specific point you are trying to accomplish?
Ok. I will have to stop here. Really. This may be tomorrow's topic.
Anyway, I told her she needed to take her concern back to the person and settle her discomfort there as there was nothing much I could do about it.
OK. Final thought:
"The best index to a person's character is how a person treats people who can't do them any good or can't fight back." -- Abigail Van Buren
Now I am off to do another window.
�
�
