12 November, 2003 - 4:39 p.m.
"True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it is lost."
I am back from my grandfather's funeral. It was amazing to meet more of my birth-family. Met my brother for the first time. Still one sibling that I have not met. One great aunt thought I was my bio-mom. All very, very interesting which balanced out the sense of loss.... 3 years was not enough time to know my grandfather.
"Misfortune shows those who are not really friends." Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), Eudemian Ethics
Upon returning and checking my emails I have finally experienced my first 'loss' due to the divorce. This one may have hit me harder than my grandfather's. More so because it was unnecessary.
Adversity DOES teach who your real friends are.......
You see.... there were the people that I knew were never my friends anyway, they have always enjoyed wallowing in my misfortune and so were not much of a surprise. There are others who have but one side and imagine that's all there is to it.... it is a narrow view but not surprising. It is the ones I have counted as 'friends' that I thought would hold fast.... so far only one couple I must count as lost but a heart-breaking, disappointing surprise none the less.
"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends." John Churton Collins
I am supposing that every couple who splits is faced with such things, and finds as many hurts and surprises along the way to rebuilding their world.
"The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends." Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC)
There is no point in me wasting my breath trying to defend or counter the attacks that are being launched.
"Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway." Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
I know these quotes are true. I know the losses tell me more about the people making them than anything else. I even know that it is not personal but simply the path they need to follow.... and silly me, I wish them well and hope they find happiness there.
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968)
May we all strive to be better friends.
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