14 May, 2004 - 11:15 a.m.
I am reading a most insightful book. It stricks me as so much common sense and yet I had never thought it through in quite this way.
I am reading The 5 Languages of Love by Gary Chapman.
It goes something like this.....
How many times do we hear about people not feeling loved by their partner, much to the partner�s surprise and frustration? According to this book, it is often the case that love is there AND being expressed, but not in the �language� that the loved one understands. Each of us has a primary language of love... ways that we express love and things we see as expressions of love. If we can learn and use each other�s love language we can increase the quality in our relationships. This applpies most aptly to our romantic relationships but also to our friends and family.
These five love languages as:
*Words of Affirmation. An unsolicited compliment, a kind word, and words of encouragement are very powerful. Mark Twain once said �I can live for two months on a good compliment.�
*Quality Time. This means togetherness and personal connection, not just being physically nearby. Learn to have a quality conversation, really listening to each other. Take time to have fun together. Do things you each enjoy; explore new activities together.
*Receiving Gifts. The message here is that the gift giver was thinking of you and wanted to let you know. Expense is not the main thing � it�s the meaning. A favorite treat picked up on the way home or a card for no reason sends a priceless message.
*Acts of Service. Cooking, washing the car, laundry can be acts of love. Challenge the stereotypes. Doing something that is helpful to your loved one will be noticed, if it is their language of love.
*Physical Touch. A hug, a kiss, holding hands, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating love. Research indicates that positive physical contact is important to emotional health; some say you need four hugs a day.
Do you know your partner�s primary love language? If you aren�t communicating your love in ways your partner understands, your relationship may suffer.
Here's a quiz
As it turns out mine are:
#1 Acts of Service
#2 Quality Time
#3 Physical Touch
#4 Words of Affirmation
#5 Receiving Gifts
I wonder if all Pelicans have Acts of Service as there primary love language.
This certainly sheds a new light on my marriage as well..... I believe his primary would be Gifts. Add him not being around much for my primary and secondary and some things start to make a little more sense to me.
Most interesting. Check it out is you have time.
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