26 August, 2004 - 11:52 a.m.
Today I got an email that just got me to shaking my head and giggling. Don't know if all the incidents are true. Don't care. They are funny! And the person sharing the stories certainly copes with more patience than most.
I have had similiar enough incidents of my own. There are the jewels that you encounter out there in the world and then there are the ones encountered in your own personal space especially when raising teenagers or living with mom. That doesn't even begin to cover care-taking and all the set-ups when dealing with doctors, nurses, techs, etc and the drugged or ill.
I am thinking that it is true that life may be tough but it's got to be tougher when you're stupid.
Hmmmmm.... or is life tougher because you are dealing with morons?
* * *
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was his reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right", he said. So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
* * *
The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine; picked up one of those "dividers" they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the boy had scanned all of my items, he picked up the "divider" looking it all over for the bar code so he could scan it. Not finding the bar code he said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to him, "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today" He said, "OK" and I paid him for the things and left. He had no clue as to what had just happened.
* * *
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
* * *
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)would have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," She answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
* * *
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
* * *
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in a tornado movie. I asked the manager what had happened. He told me the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
* * *
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
* * *
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message, "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."
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