15 September, 2005 - 7:00 p.m.
You will never believe this... Still I am trying to get it through my head
except
that
I am holding it in my hand!!!
Well, it seems I was so very wrong about my eX in reference to at least some things....
It seems that through mutual friends of ours he must have come to realize what a struggle I have been having financially. My church job doesn't pay much but I love it. My painting has never paid much, when I actually charge for it, because I want people to have my art - apparently more than I want their money. Mom is on a pension and her medical bills are exasperating at best. So things have been tight for a while. Gas prices are making things worse as the old van is not very mileage friendly.
Sooooooooooooo, despite making a big deal to everyone about how much money I supposedly took when I left, he also knows the real Truth of _that_ matter. Perhaps he decided to make good on the promises he'd made with me as we discussed how to have a balanced, friendly and civil divorce. Perhaps he realized that making $30K a month is more than anyone can spend. (An aside --- You do know that it is his dream to die in action, not to grow old and feeble and decline with age? It is what he knows and loves and he will not willing give it up.) Perhaps what he is experiencing in the field has helped him to see that life is short and grudges are a waste of time and energy. Shit, maybe his conscience was bothering him. I really am not sure at all what has come over him, but I guess he has decided that I have struggled long enough.....
He sent me his ATM card and the pin number!
I almost fainted when I opened the envelope.
Stunning huh?
Generous too - which is what I have always known him to be.....
I am guessing this is a sign of healing. And of prayers answered. What a blessing for our friends to not have to remain divided and trying to hide from him that they are still, indeed, friends with me. Ahhhh, sweet relief.
I guess this could be a set-up.
I, being suspicious did call the bank and they tell me I am joint on this account which is open and active.
Absolutely unbelievable!!!
He is certainly that clever. But that kind of a set up would be just plain cruel, don't you think?!?!Not the actions of a hero or a friend.
No - I really want to believe he is over all the hatefulness.
I am sooooo ready to move on. I know you'd like me to get over it too. I was much more fun and entertaining before - no?... but it is tricky and stressful when every time you turn around there are more court/legal papers arriving.
I spend most of my time at church - I do believe in miracles.
Couldn't this simply be one?
Do you think I am crazy to get my hopes up that he will now be dropping this last 'harassing' court case as well? That he has moved on with his life and his personal healing? That I won't have to spend Thanksgiving weekend (yup - next court date is Nov 28) traveling to Fayetteville yet again only to have him not show up. I pray it is so.
Besides, why else would he re-open our account and activate our atm cards? What a wonderful surprise!!!
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